What is bullying?
Let’s start by saying that not every painful or difficult social situation your child encounters is bullying. To clarify, bullying is defined as the repeated and intentional negative actions by one or more individuals. It includes both overt and more concealed behaviours intended to exert real or perceived power over victims. More overt bullying behaviours can consist of repeated name-calling, physical aggression, or physical intimidation and threats. Concealed actions may involve manipulating peer relationships to cause harm, gossiping, spreading intentional rumours, or intentionally excluding.
Who is at risk of being bullied?
There is no single factor that puts a child at risk of bullying, nor are children always bullied for the same thing. There are, however, vulnerable populations who may be at a higher risk. Those with cognitive or physical disabilities, socially isolated children, and stigma surrounding children of different cultures can be at a higher risk. Additionally, children who are perceived as different, have low self-esteem or have difficulties asserting themselves and getting along with other children may also be at risk.
Bullying is possible anywhere, from cities, suburbs or rural towns, and even within the family, with its most common occurrence being at school. With the massive rise in technological advances and the availability of it, cyberbullying has become a more common occurrence, making those who are being bullied even more vulnerable.
Early Warning Signs:
- Unexplained injuries or reluctance to explain Changes in eating habits, such as binge eating or skipping meals
- Changes in eating habits, such as binge eating or skipping meals
- Avoidance of school: faking illness, loss of interest in work, loss of motivation
- Difficulty sleeping or experiencing frequent nightmares
- Sudden loss of friends or avoiding social situations/extracurriculars
Recognizing subtle changes in your child can open up a broader conversation and help create a safe space for them. Having an open dialogue with someone they feel comfortable with can help them better understand their feelings and create solutions.
Additionally, it is important to note that presentation of self-destructive behaviours such as running away, self-harm, or talking about suicide can be signs of bullying and should not be ignored. If you notice these changes in your child, it is important to address these behaviours as they can increase the risk of harm to themselves, intentional or not.
How can you support as a parent?
Undoubtedly, the first step to supporting a child whom you may suspect is being bullied is opening communication so they can come to you with their difficulties. Children who bond with their parents experience secure attachment and create healthy emotional behaviours and patterns. Positive parent-child relationships have shown to be a protective factor against bullying, and can enhance the likelihood that children will externalize their feelings and seek help if experiencing bullying. So focus on developing this bond; it is never too late, and if you need support learning how to do it, reach out, and we will be happy to walk with you in this process.
How can counselling help?
Counselling can support your child who is or has experienced bullying in many ways, including fostering self-esteem, understanding their feelings and emotions, and developing strategies for their own emotional regulation. Counsellors seek to validate the child’s experience of bullying and to be a supportive, trusted source to help process it.
At Conscientia Counselling, we offer evidence-based child, family, and parent counselling in Calgary to help families build connection, clarity, and emotional resilience.
If you are seeking support around discipline, behaviour challenges, or your child’s mental health, reaching out can be a meaningful first step.
