Depression is an emotional state marked by great sadness and feelings of worthlessness and guilt. We all experience sadness occasionally but when it is persistent and accompanied by a loss of interest in activities that we normally enjoy, we could be looking at depression.
Depression does not look the same for everyone and consequently how we deal with depression changes from person to person. For example, many focus on physical (somatic) symptoms rather than emotional ones. Others brush it under the carpet, ignore their feelings and live in a depressed mood state for a long time.
What does it feel like?
Depression is felt in every area of our lives and it is felt both physically and emotionally. People with depression isolate themselves; some lose their appetite while others eat more than usual. Some lose their sleep while others have a hard time getting out of bed. People experiencing depression feel exhausted easily, speak slowly or might prefer to remain silent. Others cannot sit still, sigh, moan and complain often. They find it hard to solve problems or come up with creative ideas. Every moment feels heavy and simple tasks can look like huge mountains. Their heads are filled and reverberate with self-recriminations. They can neglect their personal hygiene and appearance.
These deep feelings of sadness and hopelessness are hard to deal with, so our natural tendency is to numb them. In order to do so some resort to alcohol, drugs (both prescribed and/or illegal) or other addictive behaviours. Frequently, the family focuses on the behaviour rather than on the root cause, or the disconnection that comes with depression.
On a physical level, people who experience depression feel aches and pains with no apparent physical basis.
How depression is felt?
Depression can be felt in the form of:
- headaches,
- migraines,
- pain in the upper arms and shoulders, stomach and/or abdominal aches.
- Lower back pain.
- Insomnia
However, there is no way to know what is physical and what is psychosomatic. The best thing to do is to talk to your family doctor and share your concerns, both physical and emotional. Talking to a therapist at the same time can be the best course of action. Speaking with a trained psychologist in Calgary can also be a highly effective step toward healing. A local therapist can help you explore and understand your specific symptoms and provide a customized plan of support. Talking to a therapist at the same time can be the best course of action. Meet our team of therapists.
Note: Some studies suggest the possibility that men and women do not cope with depression in the same way. They propose that men try to numb depression by getting distracted while women tend to ruminate about their feelings and question their validity and logic. This could lead them into a dangerous cycle. On the other hand, men who would rather not talk about it (because of the expectation or assumption that real men do not feel sadness or fear) vent by using the only “appropriate” feeling…anger.
“Depression is melancholy minus its charms.”
What to do about it?
I hope is clear to you by now that living with depression, albeit more common than you think, is not “normal”. It might be hard to accept it and even harder to believe that it can get better, but it can.
The first thing to do is to STOP telling yourself or others to “GET OVER IT”. No one chooses to be depressed, IT IS NOT A CHOICE. Be compassionate to yourself or someone experiencing it and if possible lend an empathetic ear.
Talk to your family doctor and share your symptoms. They might be able to guide you to community resources that can help you connect with others in the same situation as yours. They can perform assessments (or at least suggest a professional who can), and if necessary prescribe medication. Keep in mind that it takes time and several iterations to find a medication that works for you, so be patient and share with the doctor any relevant information.
There is evidence that the combination of medication and therapy is the best course of action for severe depression. For mild depression, therapy might be the first recommendation.
Some therapies have been proven to be more effective than others in the treatment of depression. For example, CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) are two of them. They will teach you coping and thinking skills that can eliminate what are called NATs (Negative Automatic Thoughts). NATs are ideas and beliefs that you have about yourself that could be unrealistic, distorted or based on a specific time of your life that is no longer prevalent but from which you learned something about yourself. TA (Transactional Analysis) is an effective therapy that can guide you to uncover your life script and allow you to review what some of those beliefs are and how to re-decide or change them.
We are here to help.
We offer FREE therapeutic groups that can help with various topics.
Book an appointment to start your journey.
