FIRST STEPS

Every Journey begins with a first step

I understand that therapy in many cases is a privilege. Lack of accessibility, lack of funds and the stigma linked to mental health and mental illness all attempt against it. That is why I have this page. If you are not ready to start therapy but would like to have access to resources that can start your journey, this page is for you.

Here you will find websites, books, articles, handouts, and Podcasts related to personal growth, parenting, relationships, trauma and the past. I will be updating this page every once is a while, so check back in frequently.

Books

Books on Trauma

I have frequently found in my practice as a therapist that the go-to behaviour people use when they are hurting is to avoid talking about their pain. Trauma is more common than we think, and no, not everyone is traumatized but many of us operate and make daily decisions based on what we believe about ourselves as the result of trauma. Trauma changes the way we see and interact with the world. If you want to live authentically, these books are a great place to start (or finish). Please BE CAUTIOUS , some of these can be triggering. Having a support system or a therapists as you work through your trauma is invaluable.

"Trauma" by Paul Conti

When faced with trauma, the number one hurdle is accepting that we have experienced it. Once we understand we have, we can start the healing process. Depression, addiction, anxiety, and many other ailments are the result of trauma.

"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk

“Trauma is a fact of life…” [from the book] and it changes us in more ways that you can imaging. If you want to dig deep (very deep) into your trauma and how to understand it. This book will do it. It is a triggering read, so make sure you are safe.

"When the Body Says No" by Gabor Maté

We are all one system, mind and body are connected. In this book Gabor Mate present the ways in which chronic illnesses (cancer, fibromyalgia, etc.) have been proven to be the result of trauma and stress.

BOOKS ON RELATIONSHIPS & SEXUALITY

Unfortunately, most couples wait too long before they seek help with their relationships. By the time they decide to go to therapy, they are so hurt, they feel so unheard that there is very little the therapist can do to help them. SO…if you feel something isn’t quite right with your relationship but don’t know if therapy is the right place for you, these books are a good place to start.

"Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

We all love in different ways and we want to be loved in a certain way…I know it sounds confusing, but once you understand your attachment styles and that of your partner, life and love get a lot easier.

"Hold Me Tight" by Sue Johnson

We are hardwired for emotional connections with other human beings. When we enter into a relationship with someone, we are in a relationship with their attachment style. It is interesting how our patterns of relating to our caregivers are replicated with our significant other. The science of attachment plays a great role in our romantic life.

"Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel

Modern love looks nothing like it used to be. Exploring desires, urges ideas, eroticism and your own personal way to look at and understand your sexuality. She covers it all.

"7 Principles for Making Marriage Work "
by John and Julie Gottman

He is a couples researcher by excellence with more than 30 years of research on marriage and family. This great guide is something you can use at home with your partner and it has a companion workbook.

"Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski

Women have been so wronged throughout the years in so many ways, and our sexuality is not the exception. Emily will help you challenge myths, understand physiology and more importantly understand yourself as a sexual being. You can also share these insights with your partner.

"The State of Affairs" by Esther Perel

Infidelity is an intriguing and fascinating side of relationships. We have a lot of misconceptions regarding why people cheat and why people stay with people that cheat…it is a lot more complex than we think. Esther Perel uses powerful insights to look at infidelity from all perspectives

BOOKS ON PARENTING

"Parenting From the Inside Out" by Dan Siegel

When we become parents we basically have two options, to parent from lack of awareness or to parent with awareness of our own attachment style. This book is a MUST read for anyone who wants to be the best version of themselves for their children.

"Brain Storm" by Dan Siegel

The adolescent mind is not all about hormones as many believe. It is a time for confirming our life script, reconstructing ideas and challenging the status quo. It is a necessary stage for the evolution of humankind, and yes, it is also frustrating and exhausting. He explains why to all of the above.

"Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child"
by John Gottman

Somehow emotional intelligence became a “soft” skill and took a back seat to Math, History, Physics, etc. But there is absolutely nothing soft about being courageous enough to recognize and accept our feelings, being vulnerable and compassionate when we recognize feelings in others. This should be taught in elementary school.

BOOKS ON PERSONAL GROWTH AND FOR THE PSYCHOLOGY ENTHUSIASTS

"Mindset" by Carol Dweck

This book is based on the idea that as we grow up, we cement one of two mindsets, a fixed or a growth mindset. One offers you enough emotional and psychological flexibility to challenge yourself and develop skills that you did not have before, the other one keeps you stuck on patterns that reinforce rigidity. Which one would you rather have?

"Think Again" by Adam Grant

This is a fascinating book that addressed the way we communicate with each other. Adam Grant had hit in the head the nail of the cause for the current divisiveness and ‘we-vs-them” mentality that has led to the dissolving of the social paradigms we have grown used to. A must-read for anyone who values acceptance and growth.

"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown

In my opinion, this book is her best work. Maybe is the melancholy that it was the first one (of her many) that I read but in this book she exposes the key to emotional maturity, courageous living and the full acceptance of the fact that we are emotional beings

"Transcend" by Scott Barry Kaufman

Did you know that Maslow never intended his hierarchy of needs to be plotted into a pyramid? A marketing company did that. In this book, Scott proposes a new way of looking at what the hierarchy stands for and our need for self-actualization.

"Chatter" by Ethan Kros

Our inner voice…or is it? Sometimes our inner voice is not actually ours. Sometimes it is the combination of the voices of cynicism, fear, self-doubt, etc. of our parents, siblings, grandparents, teachers etc. The way you speak to yourself does not necessarily come from you.

"Self-Matters"
by Phil McGraw

This is an old one, I know but in all honesty, this is the book that first opened my eyes to the world of psychology. When I first read this book, I was desperate for answers about my life and my upbringing. I did not know much about psychology or counselling, so I leave it here hoping it would do the same for you.

Podcasts

Ways to learn on the go

I don’t have as much time to read as I used to, so I rely a lot on Podcasts when I am driving and doing chores around the house. Here is a list of the ones I find are evidence-based and provide valuable information that can get you going on your healing journey