Depression - Conscientia Counselling

What is EMDR and how to Find a Good, Certified Therapist?

Dayami Fernandes — Tue, 26 Aug 2025 17:26:05 +0000

In recent years, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) has become one of the most effective approaches for treating the effects of psychological trauma. We use it not only for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but also for reducing anxiety, managing phobias, overcoming depression, and addressing other emotional challenges.

Essentially, the body’s fight, flight, or freeze response is a natural part of how we cope with threat. If you leave a distressing experience unprocessed, the thoughts, emotions, and sensations connected to it may feel as though the event is happening again. EMDR therapy enables the brain to reprocess these memories and return to its natural healing state. As a result of EMDR, you will still recall the event, but without the overwhelming survival response.

However, for safety and effectiveness, it needs to be performed by a certified EMDR practitioner. While it is part of psychotherapy, EMDR is more than just “talking through” a problem. In this article, we’ll explain what an EMDR therapist does, what to expect during sessions, and how to choose the right professional in Calgary.

What Is an EMDR Therapist?

An EMDR therapist is a licensed or certified psychotherapist, psychologist, or counsellor who has received specialized training in EMDR. Along with a degree in psychology and counselling, they have additional training in trauma reprocessing.

In Canada, Certified EMDR practitioners must be members of these professional associations:

EMDR Canada — the national organization that certifies and supports trained specialists.
EMDRIA- The international Organization regulating the practice of EMDR

Membership and certification ensure that a therapist is qualified to practice and follows professional standards.

What Does a Therapist Do During an EMDR Session?

The core component of EMDR therapy is bilateral stimulation, which may be provided through guided eye movements using a light bar, auditory tones through headphones, or tactile pulsers. During a session, you will focus on a specific target memory while working within a controlled and safe environment. You will be invited to recall the memory as bilateral stimulation is applied and to observe the physical, emotional, and cognitive responses that arise.

This means an EMDR session involves far more than simple “eye movements”. Your therapist plays an active role in helping you identify, process, and re-evaluate the experiences that continue to affect you.

How to Find a Good EMDR Therapist in Calgary

Finding the right specialist involves several key steps:

Check Licenses and Certification
Make sure the therapist is registered with a professional body. For example, since Alberta does not currently have a regulatory body for counsellors, a certified EMDR counsellor must hold a CCC (Canadian Certified Counsellor) through the CCPA (Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association), and a psychologist in Alberta must belong to the College of Alberta Psychologists. Make sure to look for EMDR certification from EMDR Canada or the international EMDRIA association. If you’re looking specifically for EMDR therapy in Calgary, many licensed professionals list their credentials online, making it easier to confirm qualifications.
Experience
Ask how long they’ve been practicing EMDR and what issues they usually treat. For PTSD or severe trauma, choose someone with significant experience.
Reviews and Recommendations
Websites like Psychology Today list therapists’ profiles with their approaches, contact details, and credentials. You can also ask your family doctor for referrals.
Compatibility
Even the most skilled therapist won’t be effective if there’s no trust. During your first consultation, pay attention to:
- Do you feel safe and understood?
- Are they listening attentively?
- Is the process explained clearly and simply?
Cost and Insurance Coverage
Practical considerations matter too. In Canada, EMDR sessions typically range from $120 to $200 per hour. Some employers and insurance providers cover psychotherapy, so check your plan. If you’re seeking affordable counselling in Calgary Ab, some community organizations and private practices, like Conscientia Counselling, offer sliding-scale fees to make therapy more accessible.

When Should You Consider EMDR Therapy?

EMDR can be especially helpful if you:

Experienced trauma such as an accident, assault, war, or forced migration.
Struggle with intrusive memories or nightmares due to trauma, PTSD or childhood neglect or abuse
Live with chronic anxiety, panic attacks, or phobias.
Haven’t had results with traditional “talk therapy.”

For immigrants in Canada – including Ukrainians coping with relocation stress and difficult memories – EMDR can be a powerful way to restore mental well-being.

Conclusion

EMDR is a science-based therapy recognized by the World Health Organization and widely practiced in Canada. A skilled EMDR therapist helps clients process past trauma in a safe environment, reduce emotional distress, and regain a sense of balance.

To find the right specialist, check credentials, review their experience, read client feedback, and make sure you feel comfortable with them. The right therapist can improve your quality of life, restore confidence, and help you move forward without the weight of the past.

The post What is EMDR and how to Find a Good, Certified Therapist? first appeared on Conscientia Counselling.

How to Get Over Depression After Breakup?

Dayami Fernandes — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 02:34:36 +0000

Breaking up with someone you love is undeniably painful. Losing a deep emotional connection can feel as devastating as grieving the death of someone close. To our brains, the emotional impact can be remarkably similar, whether the person has passed away or is simply no longer part of our lives.

The internet is filled with countless tips for overcoming heartbreak, but many aren’t helpful enough. The intense pain often leads people to make poor choices. Sometimes, heartache lingers for years, disrupting life and making it tough to form new relationships. It’s crucial to find the right strategies that help you personally move past depression after a breakup. Remember, depression is just one of the five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. You might bounce between these stages quickly or slowly, experiencing brief periods of relief followed by intense sadness. If the struggle feels overwhelming, seeking professional support like depression therapy Calgary can be very beneficial.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain

Heartbreak is profoundly painful and can last months or even years, especially if your emotional bond was strong. Don’t rush the healing or force yourself to move on prematurely. Avoid suppressing your emotions by burying yourself in work or pretending you’re okay. Allow yourself space and time to genuinely feel your feelings. Cry if you need to, talk when you feel like talking, and let your emotions flow naturally. The key is to remain conscious and release your pain in healthy ways, like taking walks or journaling. Resist numbing the pain with substances like alcohol or drugs; these might offer temporary relief but ultimately prolong your suffering.

2. Keep an Emotional Journal

At times, you might feel stuck or overwhelmed by your emotions. Keeping a journal can help track your feelings and show progress, even if it’s subtle. Early entries might include very basic tasks—”brushed teeth, made the bed, went to work, had trouble sleeping.” Such notes are completely normal and show that you’re taking essential care of yourself. Over time, you’ll notice improvement, building confidence in your resilience.

Your journal also serves as a safe outlet for thoughts you’d like to express to your ex but can’t. Writing helps prevent the tendency to romanticize the past, preserving a realistic perspective on why the relationship ended.

3. Seek Professional Support

Friends and family usually mean well, but their advice often unintentionally adds to your distress. Remarks like “move on,” “find someone else,” or “it wasn’t meant to be” might feel dismissive. Professional therapists, such as those available through Calgary counselling services, can offer objective guidance and effective coping strategies tailored to your emotional needs.

4. Maintain Social Connections

It’s natural to withdraw socially after a breakup, but you don’t need to isolate completely or push yourself into overwhelming social activities. Even minor interactions, like greeting someone or briefly chatting, can be significant steps. Don’t fake happiness at social events; it’s okay to leave if you’re uncomfortable. Share your feelings honestly with trusted friends or family to reduce loneliness and speed up your recovery.

5. Care for Your Physical Health

Though common advice, caring for your physical health remains essential. Emotional pain often suppresses appetite, disrupts sleep, and drains motivation for exercise. Breaking this cycle can feel impossible at first but is necessary. Physical activity boosts mood-regulating hormones. Even simple actions like short walks or basic exercises matter. Maintain a balanced diet, focusing on nutritious foods, and limit substances like alcohol and excessive sugar, which can worsen mood swings.

6. Limit Contact with Your Ex

Reducing contact might feel incredibly challenging, especially initially. Relationships create daily routines and emotional dependencies, making their sudden absence feel like withdrawal. Constantly checking your ex’s social media prolongs emotional attachment, fueling false hope or unnecessary pain. Ask yourself what you’re truly seeking when tempted to reach out – is it comfort, validation, or connection? Limit exposure to your ex’s social media and redirect your attention towards constructive activities, hobbies, or interactions with supportive friends.

7. Avoid Idealizing the Past

Our minds naturally erase painful memories, leaving mostly positive ones behind. This can make you question the breakup decision, recalling only pleasant experiences while forgetting negative aspects like conflict or loneliness. Keep a clear record of why things didn’t work out to ground yourself in reality and avoid idealizing a past relationship.

8. Don’t Rush into a New Relationship

Jumping into another relationship too quickly as a distraction often compounds emotional pain. New relationships begun prematurely tend to mask rather than resolve underlying emotional wounds. Ensure you’ve genuinely healed from your past before engaging in a new relationship, enabling a healthier, more meaningful connection.

9. Reflect on Lessons Learned

Every breakup provides valuable lessons about your needs, boundaries, and emotional patterns. Consider writing two letters – one to your past self, outlining advice you’d give at the relationship’s start, and another to your future self, detailing insights gained and setting goals for future relationships. This exercise helps solidify personal growth and prevents repeating past mistakes.

10. Engage in Meaningful Activities

Heartbreak can leave life feeling meaningless, but gradually rediscovering joy in simple activities can reignite your zest for life. Explore new interests like art, music, volunteer work, or outdoor adventures. Initially, these activities might not feel deeply fulfilling, but over time they’ll reconnect you to your inner self.

11. Recognize Your Progress

Even reading this shows you’re making progress and actively seeking healing. Progress doesn’t require dramatic breakthroughs – it’s often subtle yet steady. Gradually, mornings will feel lighter, laughter will return, and you’ll find genuine interest in others again. These signs confirm you’re moving forward.

Conclusion

A breakup isn’t an ending but a transformation – painful yet profoundly authentic. You’re evolving into someone stronger, wiser, and more self-aware, capable of deeper love without dependency or fear. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. You’ll emerge brighter and stronger, whether alone, with someone new, and most importantly, with a renewed sense of self.

The post How to Get Over Depression After Breakup? first appeared on Conscientia Counselling.

How to Feel Less Depressed?

Dayami Fernandes — Mon, 05 May 2025 18:01:27 +0000

Depression is an emotional state marked by great sadness and feelings of worthlessness and guilt. We all experience sadness occasionally but when it is persistent and accompanied by a loss of interest in activities that we normally enjoy, we could be looking at depression.

The state of being depressed does not look the same for everyone and consequently how we deal with depression changes from person to person. For example, many focus on physical (somatic) symptoms rather than emotional ones. Others brush it under the carpet, ignore their feelings and live in a depressed mood state for a long time.

What Does It Feel Like?

Depression is felt in every area of our lives and it is felt both physically and emotionally. People with depression isolate themselves; some lose their appetite while others eat more than usual. Some lose their sleep while others have a hard time getting out of bed. People experiencing depression feel exhausted easily, speak slowly or might prefer to remain silent. Others cannot sit still, sigh, moan and complain often. They find it hard to solve problems or come up with creative ideas. Every moment feels heavy and simple tasks can look like huge mountains. Their heads are filled and reverberate with self-recriminations. They can neglect their personal hygiene and appearance.

These deep feelings of sadness and hopelessness are hard to deal with, so our natural tendency is to numb them. In order to do so some resort to alcohol, drugs (both prescribed and/or illegal) or other addictive behaviors. Frequently, the family focuses on the behavior rather than on the root cause, or the disconnection that comes with depression.

On a physical level, people who experience depression feel aches and pains with no apparent physical basis.

How Depression Is Felt?

Depression can be felt in forms of:

Headaches,
Migraines,
Pain in the upper arms and shoulders, stomach and/or abdominal aches.
Lower back pain.
Insomnia

However, there is no way to know what is physical and what is psychosomatic. The best thing to do is to talk to your family doctor and share your concerns, both physical and emotional. Talking to a therapist at the same time can be the best course of action. Speaking with a trained psychologist in Calgary can also be a highly effective step toward healing. A local therapist can help you explore and understand your specific symptoms and provide a customized plan of support. Talking to a therapist at the same time can be the best course of action. Meet our team of therapists.

Note: Some studies suggest the possibility that men and women do not cope with depression in the same way. They propose that men try to numb depression by getting distracted while women tend to ruminate about their feelings and question their validity and logic. This could lead them into a dangerous cycle. On the other hand, men who would rather not talk about it (because of the expectation or assumption that real men do not feel sadness or fear) vent by using the only “appropriate” feeling…anger.

“Depression is melancholy minus its charms.”

What To Do About It?

I hope is clear to you by now that living with depression, albeit more common than you think, is not “normal”. It might be hard to accept it and even harder to believe that it can get better, but it can.

The first thing to do is to STOP telling yourself or others to “GET OVER IT”. No one chooses to be depressed, IT IS NOT A CHOICE. Be compassionate to yourself or someone experiencing it and if possible lend an empathetic ear.

Talk to your family doctor and share your symptoms. They might be able to guide you to community resources that can help you connect with others in the same situation as yours. They can perform assessments (or at least suggest a professional who can), and if necessary prescribe medication. Keep in mind that it takes time and several iterations to find a medication that works for you, so be patient and share with the doctor any relevant information.

There is evidence that the combination of medication and therapy is the best course of action for severe depression. For mild depression, therapy might be the first recommendation.

Some therapies have been proven to be more effective than others in the treatment of depression. For example, CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) are two of them. They will teach you coping and thinking skills that can eliminate what are called NATs (Negative Automatic Thoughts). NATs are ideas and beliefs that you have about yourself that could be unrealistic, distorted or based on a specific time of your life that is no longer prevalent but from which you learned something about yourself. TA (Transactional Analysis) is an effective therapy that can guide you to uncover your life script and allow you to review what some of those beliefs are and how to re-decide or change them.

We are here to help.

We offer FREE therapeutic groups that can help with various topics.

Book an appointment to start your journey.

The post How to Feel Less Depressed? first appeared on Conscientia Counselling.

Toxic Positivity

Dayami Fernandes — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 03:00:21 +0000

When Sunshine Turns Sour: The Downside of ‘Good Vibes Only’

By: Piper Jewell

Imagine receiving a high-five from a neighbour while your house is on fire. Sounds ridiculous, right?

Welcome to the world of toxic positivity, where a relentless focus on ‘good vibes only’ can actually do more harm than good. Join us as we explore how this mindset can sometimes result in the opposite of what we intend, and why it’s important to acknowledge all our emotions.

What is toxic positivity?

So, what is toxic positivity besides a confusing oxymoron? Toxic positivity is the overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state in any situation, often at the expense of true emotional authenticity. Now, what is emotional authenticity? Simply stated, it’s being true to yourself and your emotions, fully. It’s allowing yourself to feel good, while also allowing yourself that same amount of space to feel bad. In other words, toxic positivity can be characterized by an excessive emphasis on positive thinking that invalidates authentic human emotional experiences (Lomas et al, 2020).

So, does that mean “looking at the bright side of things” is harmful to yourself and others? Not necessarily. There is a fine line. In fact, toxic positivity often manifests through well-intentioned behaviour or phrases that unintentionally undermine the complexity of human emotion. People aren’t trying to be toxic, they are trying to be positive.

One of the ways I better understood toxic positivity was through silly examples of how it works. Putting a bandaid on a broken limb, for example. Sure, it looks cute, but it doesn’t really help anything. Telling yourself “It could be worse” because, in theory, it could be, but that doesn’t make your situation any better. These examples illustrate how toxic positivity can oversimplify and invalidate genuine emotional experiences, which in turn, can lead to some pretty harmful things.

When you are made to believe that you should always be positive, you may experience shame for having negative emotions.

No one likes to feel shame, and that may be one reason why individuals steer towards toxic positivity as a coping mechanism. When people are made to believe that they should always be positive, they may experience shame for having negative emotions, which can result in decreased self-esteem and cycles of negative self-judgement (Kross et al., 2011) and on a lack of self-awareness and illiteracy around their real emotions.

When people are made to believe that they should always be positive, and feel shameful when they feel negative emotions, what are they likely to do? Suppress them. Emotional suppression has been shown to increase psychological stress and exacerbate feelings of anxiety and depression (Gross & Levenson, 1997; Gross, 2002). So, in essence, when people are made to believe that they should always be positive, they inadvertently create a cycle of emotional suppression and heightened psychological distress, ultimately worsening their mental health instead of improving it.

Realistic Optimism

While it is beneficial to maintain a positive outlook, it is equally important to be realistic. Let’s talk about realistic optimism. Realistic optimism involves recognizing and accepting negative emotions while choosing to focus on positive aspects and solutions. It is grounded in the present reality and is based on facts (Seligman, 2006). With toxic positivity, there is an avoidance of negative emotions, a refusal to feel them, and a high-five in a house fire. With realistic optimism, there is an acknowledgement of negative emotions in/and difficult situations, while still maintaining a hopeful and proactive outlook – a hug in a house fire.

If you’ve found yourself caught in the cycle of toxic positivity, know that you’re not alone. It’s a common coping mechanism, driven by a desire to feel good and avoid pain. However, by validating and embracing all your emotions, both positive and negative, you can cultivate a more balanced and healthy mindset.

Remember, it’s okay to not be okay all the time. Embracing this truth can free you from the cycle of emotional suppression and lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

How to deal with Toxic Positivity?

If you or someone you know is struggling with toxic positivity or other mental health concerns, consider seeking support. At Conscientia Counselling, our psychologists in Calgary are ready to assist you in exploring your emotions and embracing a more balanced approach to mental health. Connect with us today to schedule your FREE 30-minute consultation and take the first step towards a healthier, more authentic you.

References

Gross, J. J., & Levenson, R. W. (1997). Hiding feelings: The acute effects of inhibiting negative and positive emotion. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 106(1), 95-103. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.106.1.95

Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281-291. https://doi.org/10.1017.S0048577201393198

Kross, E., Ayduk, O., & Mischel, W. (2011). When asking “why” does not hurt: Distinguishing rumination from reflective processing of negative emotions. Psychological Science, 22(6), 709-715. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797611405679

Lomas, T., Waters, L., Williams, P., Oades, L., & Kern, M. L. (2020). Third wave positive psychology: Broadening towards complexity. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 16(5), 660-674. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2020.1805501

Seligman, M. E. P. (2006). Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Vintage Books.

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